Apparently, a cluster of disgruntled consumer advocates has now decided to wage war against Easyjet and other so-called “budget” airlines over the fact that those flying in steerage must pay for what the airlines term “larger hand luggage.” These self-appointed protectors of the masses, armed with EU court rulings and an overdeveloped sense of justice, accuse the airlines of misleading advertising—bemoaning that the stated ticket price doesn’t include a normal-sized bag and thunderously demanding that air travel’s “essentials” be provided gratis. With grand flourishes, lawsuits have been filed and urgent pleas made for the imposition of standardized rules and free baggage minimums across the continent.

Permit me a moment to collect myself; it is difficult to stifle one’s laughter at such histrionics. The entire notion that passengers, lured by the bedazzlement of €9.99 fares, are so naïve as to expect actual service without supplemental fees is almost charming in its innocence. One wonders if the Federation of German Consumer Organisations would also take up arms should the airlines decide to charge for—oh, I don’t know—the air one breathes in the cabin, or perhaps the privilege of boarding the aircraft upright.

If one does not wish to be nickel-and-dimed at every turn, perhaps the solution is not judicial crusades but simply not flying with the proletarian airlines at all. There are alternatives, after all—class and service are available to those able and willing to pay for them. The obsession with “rights” for the lowest common denominator has turned air travel from an elegant journey into a noisy marketplace of grievances. Budget carriers, in their quest to bring the undistinguished masses into the clouds, have stripped away any vestige of refinement; now, their clientele demand even more, for even less.

In my world, when one books passage, one expects to pay a fair price for civilized comfort, and the notion of haggling over a paltry cabin bag is as alien as waiting in line at a public swimming pool. Let those who wish to fight for crumbs do so; I, for one, am content to watch the spectacle from afar, sipping champagne in the lounge, my very large—and impeccably crafted—luggage whisked away without so much as a glance at the price tag. This entire episode only further affirms my conviction that true travel is wasted on those who do not understand its inherent value.