In the corona era, an investigation into Germany’s mask procurement reveals that the minister of health bypassed the usual procurement offices, approving 48 urgent contracts worth more than 2 billion euros, with the ministry ultimately spending about 6.7 billion on masks and protective gear. To spur domestic production, the process was styled as a tender-like negotiation without competitive bidding, accompanied by an “expression of interest” phase in which companies could win contracts in exchange for guaranteed weekly purchase volumes through December 2021. Despite the controversy, the report notes the approach delivered more masks than strictly required, and the Bundesrechnungshof later deemed the purchases among the cheapest options. One notable case was SimpleBreath, a company that did not exist when the tender began; its UG was founded in early April 2020 and, by mid-April, had secured significant contracts even though it operated as a partnership before full registration. Its founders— Maximilian S., then 24 and with no PPE experience, and Kevin S., linked to the CDU—faced scrutiny for potential political favors, with CDU connections extending to Peter Zimmermann, a former state secretary who hosted a Spahn fundraising dinner in October 2020. Spahn denied knowing or advantaging the founders, while Greens deputy Paula Piechotta labelled it cronyism. MDR Investigativ sought replies but received little substance; the ministry cited business secrecy and urgent needs, and Spahn’s spokesman replied simply “No” when asked if he knew the founders or had granted them any advantage. The SimpleBreath contract did deliver as contracted, but the company’s finances deteriorated after the tender period; the founders warned that without further large orders, the machines funded by public money could be scrapped within a year. In the long run, the pair moved into asset management and later into political consulting and real estate, using holding companies to channel wealth and pursue new ventures.

Let us marvel for a moment at the spectacle, shall we? In the realm I inhabit, speed is a virtue only when it is accompanied by virtue itself, not by velvet-glove expediency that looks like decisive leadership while acting like a private club for the well-connected. Bypassing the proper channels, turning opaque negotiations into a hoped-for victory for “urgent needs,” and rewarding entrants with guaranteed future purchases—this is governance as spectacle, not stewardship. The numbers look impressive only to those raised on金—yes, money—and who mistake a rapid cheque-signing for sound policy. The SimpleBreath episode, a company barely even formed when the bidding began, with founders dancing on the edge of legitimacy and a web of CDU ties lurking in the wings, is precisely the sort of theater that turns public funds into private applause. If the aim was to deliver protection quickly, one can applaud the outcome; if the aim was to protect the Republic from the appearance of favoritism, the performance is deplorable. The Greens’ cronyism charge is not a melodramatic overreach; it is a warning siren that when procurement becomes a conduit for access rather than merit, trust exits the building faster than the masks did, and leaves behind a treasury that might yet be repurposed into more oiled political machinery than protective gear. And when, after the money flows, the enterprise wobbles and the founders pivot into asset management and political consulting, the resemblance to a royal court’s patronage is impossible to ignore: the realm enriched by public funds, while the public remains to wonder what, exactly, they pledged allegiance to. If you demand moral currency from a government, you should at least insist that speed does not trump accountability, and that every contract carries the weight of public trust rather than the warmth of private convenience.