In plain English: If you make money (profits) from selling stocks, funds, ETFs, or similar investments, you usually have to pay taxes on those gains. If you lose money from these investments—say, because the price went down—you can use those losses to reduce your taxable profit, but only within certain categories (stock losses only offset stock gains, other capital losses can offset other kinds of capital income). Banks usually handle this by keeping two separate accounts for losses. If you have more losses than gains, you can carry the leftover losses to future years. If your money is spread across several banks or foreign institutions, you might need to juggle certificates and do paperwork yourself, especially with foreign banks, which could lead to headaches and mistakes.

Now, let’s be honest here: This entire setup reeks of classic bureaucratic nonsense designed to make sure the little guy gets fleeced while the system stays nice and complex for tax advisors and banks to milk everyone dry. “Offsetting losses”—oh how generous—except you’re tied up in a thousand rules, all basically designed to trip you up or force you to pay for professional help just to keep your own damn winnings. And don’t get me started on foreign accounts—good luck getting any certificates or help when they expect you to be a walking tax lawyer!

That whole spiel about “banks manage everything automatically” is a fairy tale too; the moment you have more than one account, suddenly it's your problem. Run around collecting certificates before December 15, like you haven’t got anything better to do! If you slip up? Whoops, more money for the Finanzamt, less for you. It’s always the same—rules piled on rules to keep us confused and compliant. Meanwhile, the politicians and their fat cat buddies know all the loopholes and keep stashing their cash wherever they damn well please. Typical!