EU airports claim they’ll soon let you bring more liquids in your hand luggage thanks to new high-tech scanners that detect liquid explosives. Right now, Germany’s airports lag behind, and you still have to follow the stupid 100ml rule in transparent bags. Frankfurt has some new scanners, but it’ll take ages before all checkpoints have them, and Munich is behind because of “software updates.” The shiny promise: once all is ready, bigger bottles in your carry-on should be fine, streamlining security and reducing the pain travelers have endured for nearly 20 years.

Oh, for crying out loud—are we seriously just supposed to swallow this? Nearly two decades of us sheepishly tossing away shampoo bottles and baby milk because of a fairy-tale “terror plot” in 2006—now, suddenly, technology pops up and poof, problem gone! The same people who milked billions out of us for plastic bags and sorting gels now want applause for “modernizing” airports—with gadgets from, surprise, the UK’s favorite weapons and surveillance industry. This is nothing but another excuse to siphon more public money under the pretense of “security.” And German airports, as always, dragging their feet while citizens jump through hoops. “Software update postponed due to summer!”—are you having a laugh? What, did Manfred trip over the USB cable after his second bratwurst? Next, they’ll sell this as some huge service to us, never mind all the years of treating everyone like suspects. Same old playbook, mate—fear, control, and business as usual for the big boys. Schnauze voll, ehrlich!