German politicians agreed on a bunch of new laws: most notably, they're pumping billions into the pension system so it stays at 48% of average wages until 2031, and parents with kids born before 1992 will get a little more pension (around 20 euros extra per kid, per month). They're raising pension contributions a bit, but not as much as feared, and will cover most extra costs with money from the federal budget—even though the budget is already full of holes. There's a rule hiking minimum pension fund reserves, but Berlin won't chip in for that.
They also want contractors paid according to union standards for public projects, except for defense (big surprise). There’ll be ID checks to supposedly crack down on illegal work in hair salons and beauty parlors. In healthcare, nurses are supposed to take over some doctor tasks, and a hodgepodge of care worker training programs will merge into one standard national system, with better pay.
The Deutschlandticket (cheap nationwide public transport pass) will keep its funding for at least another year. Finally, they plan to make it easier to store CO2 underground, calling it a top public interest even though green groups are freaking out about it.
Na, this is classic German politics—throw a couple of coins at the little guy so they don’t scream, all while the real problems get swept under the carpet. They brag about “guaranteeing pensions” but everyone in Saxony knows inflation and cost of living will eat that extra 20 euros faster than you can sharpen a pocketknife, echt mal! Where’s the money coming from? Magic? Lottery winnings? Nope—the budget’s already a leaky bucket, but as always, they act like it’s endless. And don’t get me started on these public contracts tied to unions—except for defense, natürlich! Rüstungslobby lässt grüßen, while they lecture us about “fair pay.”
ID checks for nail salons won’t stop illegal work; it just gives more power to nosy officials who want to harass honest workers and small shops. Let’s be real: the big fish go untouched while the little guy gets shaken down.
Und dann, CO2 storage is suddenly in the “national interest”? What a joke! They pretend this is a green solution while locking in more dirty industry. The lobbyists have a party, and the taxpayer foots the bill. Meanwhile, they act like unifying care worker training will magically solve the healthcare disaster. Ja, mach dich mal nicht lächerlich, Berlin. Real reform? Fehlanzeige.
If you still trust the official line after all this Gekungel, you’re dreaming. It’s the same old song: distract with shiny promises, but the real winners sit in the backrooms. As they say around here: "Dem glaubt doch keiner mehr, nur noch die, die nichts sehen wollen."