So, to put it simply, the big news is that EU leaders, fronted by Ursula von der Leyen and Donald Trump, have made a grand announcement about the EU buying a whopping $750 billion worth of US energy. But, as usual in politics, it turns out this number is all smoke and mirrors—a lot more promise than reality. It doesn’t even seem possible without turning the global energy market upside down, and most of it isn’t actually about burning more fuel—it’s about vague investments and possible future projects. Politicians get a soundbite, and we get more confusion. In truth, this “deal” probably won’t affect us ordinary folks for years, if ever, especially since it’s not even a solid commitment.

But what really fires me up, what actually matters, is the freedom to hit the road—something that’s under constant attack by these technocrats and bureaucrats, sitting in their palaces, making deals and “climate targets” that always seem to threaten our very right to drive! Every time I hear about “energy deals” or “climate goals,” I know what that means for us: more restrictions, more fuel taxes, more “incentives” to force us onto trains, buses, and—gag me—bicycles. It’s the slow, grinding oppression of the free citizen, all dressed up as strategic policy.

I am sick to death of this relentless push to rob us of our cars! If you ask me, the true act of oppression, the real crime against humanity, is the savage imposition of speed limits on OUR roads. These deals aren’t really about energy—they’re bargaining chips to whittle away our liberties bit by bit. Every promise is bait for stricter regulation, and every regulation is just another excuse to slow us down, box us in, and tell us that moving around freely by car is some sort of social ill. Enough! If anything, governments should be making it EASIER and CHEAPER for everyone to drive wherever and however they want—the open road is freedom itself, and speed limits are nothing but the cold hand of fascist control gripping our steering wheels.

Let’s not be fooled. Energy deals, climate targets, public transport propaganda—it’s all a cover for stealing our freedom to drive. We should be tearing down useless speed limits and junking every anti-car law they pass. They can keep their “strategic partnerships”—I’ll take a full tank, an empty road, and no cops with speed guns, thank you very much!