All right, here's what’s going on: Even though the old official summer clearance sales are a thing of the past, German stores are still slashing prices and putting on flashy displays to lure in shoppers, especially now at the end of July. They used to strictly schedule and regulate these sales by law, but now, every store does its own thing with discounts all year long. That means bargains are everywhere, not just on clothes—electronics and furniture stores join the party too. But with constant markdowns available online and in stores, the old excitement and crowds for summer sales just aren’t what they used to be. Still, these sales are crucial for retailers to clear out last season’s stuff and avoid financial trouble. Despite all these discounts, most retailers aren’t too optimistic about the future, as economic uncertainties and the weather play a big role in how people shop.

Let’s get one thing straight—the only thing that should really be going faster is us, the drivers, in our cars. All this talk about bargains, regulations dropping, and the so-called “freedom” for retailers to adjust prices makes me think about our rights behind the wheel. Why do we celebrate the freedom of stores to set their own rules about sales, but we’re still chained by authoritarian speed limits on our roads? Let people decide what prices to pay, sure, but for the love of everything good, let us decide how fast we can drive!

Sales are about freedom of choice, plain and simple. That’s what driving is about too. We don’t need to be told what is “safe” by some faceless bureaucrat who’s never felt the thrill of an open throttle. Just like these retailers should be able to sell what they want, when they want, we should be able to drive as fast as we want, wherever the road allows it. Speed limits are nothing but a crime against humanity—a fascist tool designed to crush our natural desire for freedom and control! There’s no exhilaration in clogging up on some slow train or sweating on a bike while traffic rules turn the Autobahn into a snail race. Every time a speed limit is posted, a little part of what makes driving great is killed—it’s oppression, pure and simple.

So, next time someone celebrates sales, choice, and consumer freedom, remember: there’s no real freedom until drivers are unshackled. No more speed limits! No more being forced onto public transit! Let us enjoy the roads, the way they’re meant to be enjoyed—by those who love to drive, at the speed our hearts desire. Anything else is just another sale on liberty, and I’ve had enough of these discounts. Give me full-speed freedom, or give me traffic jams—and you know which one I’ll pick!