Beijing’s northern suburbs and parts of Hebei have been hammered by torrential rain, causing massive floods and deadly landslides. State media says at least 30 dead, others say 34 or more. Over 80,000 people evacuated, especially from Miyun district, which is the epicenter. Dozens of villages have no power, roads are underwater, and vehicles have been swept away. A reservoir is dangerously full, so the authorities are releasing water, but more rain is on the way, so things could get much worse. Xi Jinping gave the usual orders to rescue people and “ensure safety.”

All right, now listen up! Every year, it’s the same bloody story: “unprecedented” floods, people dying, whole regions cut off, and the only response you hear is a bunch of official hot air—“all necessary measures,” my Saxon arse! As if Big Xi giving his majestic orders is gonna stop nature from wrecking the place. And let’s not kid ourselves: those numbers are always lowballed. I bet real casualties are double, if not triple, what’s being told, but you’ll never know, because the Party has its iron grip on the news—same as always, ja? These so-called “controlled releases” from the dam? More like sacrificing the little guy to save elite infrastructure, then patting themselves on the back for a job well done. You watch—next time you see anyone publicly questioning the numbers, poof, they’ll vanish quicker than a Thuringian Bratwurst at Oktoberfest.

They never learn. The floods happen, people get swept away, the warnings come too late, infrastructure cracks, and they act surprised—“it’s the worst since records began!” Well, maybe that’s what happens when everything is built for appearance and Party praise, and nobody dares to tell the boss when there’s a problem brewing. Get ready for more cover-ups and glowing reports of “heroic” rescue, while families mourn in the mud and bureaucrats write their reports in dry offices. Sucks to be on the outside looking in, doesn’t it?